living the best life with the martins

Drowning Your Sorrows

2011-01-07T08:10:00.000-08:00

Two Summers ago, the kids and I headed to the pool and found the place virtually deserted. Towels strewn about, chairs out of place, meals left half eaten, and pool toys everywhere. Someone must have gone to the bathroom in the pool, we concluded , but it looked like the "Adult" pool was open for business, so we parked and went in, planning on meeting David for a poolside dinner later. We signed in, I ordered a Pina Colada, and the kids jumped right in, thinking it was cool to be on the Big People side. Everything looked normal, but it felt very wrong. After some small talk and an hour or so of swimming, I finally found out why. A little girl had drowned in the family pool earlier that day. Why did it take so long for someone to tell me and why in the world was any part of the country club pool still open? As the story unfolded later that week, I learned that the pool had been very crowded, three life guards were on duty, parents were everywhere, yet no one noticed until it was too late. I just didn't understand how someone could drown with someone a few feet away. How could no one have noticed this little girl struggling?

It was a Summer later when I read an article about the silence of drowning. It's not the desperate thrashing, arms waiving, crying for help, we see in the movies. The act of drowning is very quiet. The body goes into survival mode and instincts kick in. The arms move close to the body, the feet tread water, and the air for yelling is conserved for breathing. People drown every day without anyone knowing something is wrong.

After that tragedy at the pool, we parents kept closer eyes on our children. I never read a book, talked on a phone, or had in depth conversations poolside. I did see a child in trouble again that summer, and just like I read, I saw only the panic in their eyes, no obvious signs of struggle. I held out my hand and pulled her to safety.

I wish I could have done the same for my sister-in law. She was drowning too, but no one could save her. I think often of what could have been different. Why couldn't she have just taken one of the many hands held out to her. We all wanted to stop her from sinking, but by the time we saw the panic in her eyes, it was too late. The weight of alcoholism and hopelessness was more than any of us could help her bear.

Rebecca Lynn Martin lost her struggle a few days after Christmas this year. In some ways, many of the people who loved her, lost their struggle as well. They never stopped trying to get her to swim to shore. Some of us threw out the life ring, knowing that the safest way to save someone in trouble is to stand on solid ground and hope they grab on. Others dove in selflessly, holding her up, until there own strength was exhausted.

In these first days of 2011, I've spent a lot of time thinking of Becci in her glory days. She was the girl many were jealous of. She was naturally thin with beautiful legs and striking green eyes. And she really loved her clothes, always dressed to the nines. She also had the deep voice that carried through a room like a microphone. We always tease Aidan that he got Aunt Becci's uncanny loudness. Becci also had beautiful hands. It was rare that she didn't have the perfect manicure on those long, graceful fingers. When Camryn was born, one of the first things I noticed were her elegant little fingers. She got Aunt Becci's hands. Everyday I'm reminded of her in my children.

Why Becci couldn't grab on to one of us, we'll never know. I know we never stopped trying to reach her, never stopped throwing out the life ring.

I know drowning is quiet. I have been a witness, a stunned onlooker that can't help.

I now realize that sometimes drowning can be completely silent, the sorrow of life pulling down, until there are only ripples on the surface to show you were ever there at all.

Becci lived with the weight of alcoholism threatening to drag her down everyday. That weight has been lifted. May her spirit soar to the heavens. May she take the hand of God and be lead safely to shore.

Approaching 43...Learning to yield and come to a complete stop.

2010-01-15T13:43:00.001-08:00

This might sound like a lesson in "How not to get a ticket in Grove Hill", famous for its' friendly neighborhood sting operation, but it's actually the way I'm going to change my way in 2010.

For once it's not about all the things I'm going to do , like get in shape , eat healthier, keep the house clean, read more, spend less, hug my children, yada, yada, yada. Let's face it, if by 43 it aint happenin', it aint happenin' for a reason.

That reason is me.... the "me" that got me this far, and the "me" that's gotta go , to get me goin' farther. (Try to say that six times fast).

Don't get me wrong. I've gotten to this point because so many of those old resolutions have been resoluted, resolved, whatever the word may be. I'm in pretty good shape, I eat as healthy as I'm willing to pay for, my house will never be clean, I don't have any money, neither of my kids want to be hugged anymore...and now I need a challenge... Now I'm going to the inside.

While so many people are working to get what they want on the outside, myself included, recently I've come to my BIG AHA moment....no amount of possessions, surgeries, procedures or shopping trips are going to make me happier. I need to work a little deeper.

So first off, I'm going to try to learn to yield (and no, not to traffic) to people. For those of you that know me, you know I like to be in control. Some people call it "leadership", but when you have a hard time watching your husband clean the kitchen, because he's not doing it "your way", it's called "control freak" . There are times I'd rather do everything myself, for fear it won't be done "my way". I've already started letting David cook on the weekends, and it's true that even a sandwich tastes better if someone else makes it. I'm relinquishing control and letting the counters go un-wiped, the toys unsorted, and the trips go unplanned. I'm "control freaking -out"just typing it.

The second thing I'm yielding to is this aging body. I'm not going to lie and say I've never contemplated having some work done, but I realize now, it was more a reaction to all the work being done around me. Nowadays, there's competition over who's "fake" looks the most real, how some one's "real" has to be fake, and who has the best doctor. Well that little surgery tossing around in the back of my head for a couple of years is tossed out. I'm yielding to my natural body and all that it can do to change itself. If my double chin is competing with my double A's to see which can reach my belly button first, I'm yielding to gravity. If over the counter creams can't tame my laugh lines, I'm going to smile more so you can't see them. I'm going to yield to aging gracefully and feeling good and strong on the inside.

Lastly, and the hardest for me, is I'm going to come to a complete stop . In almost 12 years of marriage, we have lived in six different houses. We seem to barely get our feet on the ground, before we face another transfer, I am always looking toward our next move. The moving truck has barely pulled away and I hear myself starting sentences with "In our next house...." I've decided to stop treating my life like I'm at a "Rest Stop", on my way to our final destination. This is where I am, and I'm going to stop and enjoy. It seems a little late for this, but we've lived here longer than anywhere. I wish I would have planted my feet firmly from the beginning and not held people at bay with "We won't be here long". How do I know?

Well I do know this, I'm here now, and the "here and now" is where I'm living. I'm moving over, letting people in, and aging gratefully. Goodbye Ms. Stubborn, hello Ms. "Be prepared to merge". Let the construction begin.

Images of the Heart

2010-01-10T13:46:00.000-08:00

Whew, this post has been a long time coming, and quite honestly, so has this wedding. It seems as if Grace and Ethan have already experienced a lifetime together, both growing up in Memphis, attending the same church, sharing the same friends and both graduating from Auburn. They share a deep history, a strong faith, and many, many, many people who love them.

The wedding was last weekend and since getting home, I've been working hard at downloading, cropping, and reviewing pictures, trying hard to decide which ones captured the beauty of the celebration.

There are none.

The images that stand out in my mind weren't captured in my camera. They were captured in my heart. Here they are in "a thousand words".

Grace's flower girls meeting for the first time and raising their little hands up to touch, palm to palm.

Grace and her Dad walking down the aisle at rehearsal, her dearest friends, family, and Ethan soaking up her unadorned beauty.

Camryn seeing Grace in her wedding dress for the first time, mesmerized by the real princess.

In the keeping room, before the ceremony, Grace on a stool, her gown flowing around her, her bridal party surrounding her in prayer.

Grace's Mom, holding her hand, and thanking God for her Grace.

Grace's friend Effie, singing during the worship service. It was truly the most beautiful, spiritual, uplifting performance I have ever heard.

These images have come back to me so many times in the last week and the love we experienced in those few days will remain with David and I.

Some beautiful things can't be captured with a lens. Those are the times we need to put our cameras down and just revel in the moment.

I'm not surprised I didn't have the picture to do this wedding justice.

As far I know, they don't have the technology to catch the beauty within our hearts.

I don't think I have the words either.

A Little Gift

2009-12-20T10:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes gifts come in packages you can't see, can't put your hands on, and are so small you wonder if it's really a gift at all. David and I got one of these gifts on Saturday. It was a returned Christmas card, the only one we got back this year.

As much as I love sending Christmas cards, receiving them is even better. The kids and I watch for the mailman, fight over who's to open each envelope, and then hang them on our card trees. David even goes to the trees first thing when he gets home to see who we heard from that day.

Saturday night, we met up at our favorite pizza place and were talking about the day and of course, I wanted to know if we got any cards. That's when David told me that we got one returned from his high school friend Donny. I wasn't surprised since we hadn't been able to get a hold of them when we were in Michigan, but I wanted to send the card anyway.

For a brief minute or two, we talked about the Lintons and both silently wondered where they had ended up since we last talked. Minutes later, amongst the chaos of the kids, David's phone rang. It was another old high school friend who delivered the news that Donny had been killed in a car accident that morning. It was unbelievable. We were literally talking about him moments before.

As much as I wish that card would have made it there, the "return to sender" gave us those few thoughts of our friend, alive, and enjoying the holiday with his family somewhere. We'll never have those thoughts again.

When we got home that night, I could hardly face that red envelope on the desk. It was a reminder of being too late to get in touch with someone that was important. Then I realized that if it had made it there, it just would have been one of one hundred cards I sent, its' recipient crossed off the list.

So in honor of David's friend Donny Linton, gone at age 40..... get in touch with those friends that you keep meaning to call , send a card to someone you haven't heard from in a while, and appreciate life's littlest gifts.

Rest in heavenly peace Friend.

A Very Happy Soul...Frosty that is.

2009-12-18T15:49:00.000-08:00

Camryn entertained us at her very first recital in a jazzy little number to "Frosty the Snowman". There are eight three year olds in her class and each one loved every minute of being on stage. I'm amazed at their lack of stage fright and pure joy in performing. This is considered a "demonstration" at her dance school and preps the girls for their big ballet in May, Cinderella. I just can't wait. Waiting back stage for their"costumes".

Concentrating so hard to stay on that star and plie at the same time.

"A jolly happy soul..."

" He came to life one day....."

(look at that form)

"Thumpity, thump, thump...."

"Over the fields of snow..."

I think we're done now.

Yep, we're done.

Aidan being a supportive brother.

Here she is.

The star of the show (ours anyway).

Just say "Yes"

2009-11-19T10:28:00.000-08:00

"Mommy, they're the same shade as you" said Camryn. We were sitting on the kitchen floor, sink full of dishes, pile of dirt next to the broom, laundry piled on the counter. I had used every form of "no" you imagine that morning (without actually saying N-O). "In a minute", "Just let me finish this", "I've got to get this done", "Mommies has too much to do right now", "I need to fold this before it wrinkles".

And here she comes again with the nail polish. I love that about kids. They don't give up.

"Mommy will you paint my toes?" Elbow deep in dish water, I just didn't have the energy to explain why I couldn't, so I just said "YES, I'd love to paint your toes!".

I don't know why, but I've said "Yes" to every little request since. Sometimes it was something so quick, like snapping Barbie's dress, or pushing play on her princess CD. Other times, it took a couple of minutes...holding her hand through the scary part of Snow White, making her a glass of chocolate milk, drawing a self portrait in crayon.

What's crazy is, I think I spent more time telling my three year old why I couldn't, than I did "doing". I still managed to get tons done and I felt happier.

We all need to put our kids at the top of the "to-do" list. Sit down and share their after school snack, color with them, watch their favorite show, let them help cook dinner. These are the things they'll remember. They won't remember a clean house, they won't know their clothes aren't wrinkled, and they won't care if your pedicure is perfect.

When Camryn's nails were done, they were the same shade as me. But really, I was the same shade as her. Why does it take a toddler to bring us back to our true color? How did I get so caught up in thinking "perfect things" were more important than "perfect moments"?

So my new motto is "If you want to see me, stop over anytime. If you want to see my house, give me a couple days notice". In the meantime, I'll be hugging my kids and saying "yes, there's nothing I'd like to do more".

One Thing Leads to Another

2009-11-17T11:36:00.000-08:00

Sometimes life is just a chain of events that that gets longer and longer until it wraps around your ankles and you end up face first on the ground. Welcome to my excuse.

This is how I found my way back here after all this time.

Thanksgiving is fast approaching and my Dad is coming from Michigan to spend it with us. I need to have my house decorated for the holidays by "Black Friday". Our attic storage is off of the guest room where my Dad will set up shop on Friday, so this weekend I decided to get out the boxes of stuff to deck the halls and get it all out before my Dad comes. How would I get it done otherwise? Last year all things came together nicely. My creative juices were flowing. This year I felt stuck in the mud and overwhelmed by all the garlands, lights and baubles. I decided to use a cheat sheet and look at pictures from last year and just copy, at least for now. That would be easy because surely I showed off my hard work on blog last Christmas. I logged onto my blog, blew away the cobwebs and intended to skip right to December 2008, make some notes, and run downstairs to re-create.

Then the music started. Man, I love my music. I spent as much time searching for songs as I did on my writing. Every song has a meaning , a memory, an effect on me. I was suddenly in no hurry to go anywhere. I started scrolling and instead of scrolling, I stopped.... and read. An hour later (and a few tissues), I realized something.

I had made a conscious decision to stop blogging when I did. It didn't seem like my family in Michigan was really logging on very much, I wasn't so enthused to keep it "real" anymore, and..... it took time.

Yesterday, I knew that every minute I spent was worth it. Reading back through, it was so clear that I wrote every sentence for me .... from my heart. Every quote by Aidan, every silly thing Camryn did, every commentary on current events, brought me right back there. The weeks I didn't blog still were lived, but I can't get them back in the same high definition. I couldn't get logged in quick enough to capture as much of my life as possible.

So maybe I will be the only one who ever bothers to read what I have to say. There might not be so many picture stories either. It was the words that held me, like secret little notes passed between friends.

So that brings me to this. I never found any pictures of my decor from last year, but my search lead me back to my blog ( which will definitely have a post titled "Holiday Decor 2009). Happy reading...to me, from me.

Random Acts of August

2009-09-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

Boosterthon Fun Run...Thanks to all who pledged!

Train of friends.

Dancin' at the "Stokin' the Fires BBQ and Music Festival.

Chillin' and listening to music at "Stokin' ".

The Sloss Furnace National Historic Site in B'ham, AL.

Diggin' in the Sloss dirt pile.

Trying on her dress for Grace and Ethan's wedding.

First day of Ballet.

First day of second grade.

Loving each other.

America's Next Top Model Obsessed

2009-07-19T17:51:00.000-07:00

A direct result of watching ANTM Obsessed marathon today while house cleaning. This is a close copy of one of the make-up jobs. This is all her frames. Watch for her on the cover of Three Magazine or maybe Toddler Vogue.

"Lovin' summer, happened so fast."

2009-07-15T10:13:00.000-07:00

My Sister,Cindy, and I enjoying the lake at her house.

Camryn and my Cousin Robert resting on the boat.

Aidan's beautiful hair blowing in the wind on Lake Huron.... This morning at camp, all smiles!!

It's hard to believe it's been a month since my last post.

Last ummer seemed to drag on endlessly, and this year I barely have time to breath. We made it to Michigan and back, had friends visit from Cleveland, and (drum roll please..... cut off Aidan's hair). For the record, it was all his doing, his idea, his triumph when I finally gave in and said yes. I really didn't think he would do it when it came right down to it. He did, and I long for it back every day. He looks so grown up. Which brings me to today. Aidan left for camp this morning. What kind of mother sends her 7 year old off to camp? The kind who thought we'd all need a break by now. The truth is, I wanted to stay and enjoy camp with him. It looks like so much fun. He didn't shed a tear, barely had time to hug us good-bye. I'm not sure what to worry about for the next four days. I have two hands and only one child. Maybe my house will finally be a little cleaner. Probably not. I usually wait for the next rainy day, and the pool is calling today. I think I'm just going to take a deep breath and enjoy only having to put sunscreen on one child. Oh gosh, I hope someone reminds Aidan to wear sunscreen!

Quick Thoughts

2009-06-11T15:50:00.000-07:00

If I have any regular followers, I'm sorry I've been AWOL lately. Life has been being lived and I've just not taken time out to reflect. So we're leaving tomorrow for two weeks and I have a few things on my mind, some thoughts I need release. Here they are in no particular order.

I'm feeling at peace for our neighbor who lost his painful battle with brain cancer last night and sadness for his family and Auburn University where he was a beloved swim coach.

I'm amazed my little Camryn is swimming like a fish and I'm not exaggerating! Jumping into deep water, surfacing, and swimming to the side where she starts all over again. That girl is wearing me (and my bathing suits) out.

I'm glad the "road rash" on Aidan's face has almost completely disappeared. It was downright gruesome at it's worst. I can actually look him in the eyes without crying now.

I'm now looking forward to two days in the car with the family. As much as I've complained, I realized we haven't had a family meal since David's company filed bankruptcy. It'll be nice to reconnect. I'll probably take this all back before we're through Atlanta, but right now I'm hopeful.

I'm proud to live in a city on a "best" list. We know we love it, now other people can see why.

I can't wait to be with my big family all at once. They fill me with so much love, crack me up like no others, and rejuvenate my spirit. They are what I miss about Michigan. They are "home".

I'm not scared about David's job security. What happens, happens. We'll just roll with it.

I'm thankful to all the people I interact with everyday, that make me smile, make my kids happy, are apart of our lives here in Auburn. We'll miss you while we're gone.

Happy Summer!!

First and Last

2009-05-22T10:19:00.000-07:00

The picture on the left was taken this morning, Aidan's last day of First grade. The picture on the right was taken on the first day of school. I thought he'd look so much different. He IS so much different. I'm not even sure how much he's grown in inches, but I know he's grown much bigger on the inside. I really wanted something tangible, something I could see with my own two eyes. I guess I'll have to be happy with the worn tennis shoes that I know are too small now and were too big in the fall, the tired eyes today that were bright with anticipation at the beginning of the year, and the changes in my decor that show that time has passed and life has changed.

Aidan breezed through first grade, loved his teacher, and worked extra hard to keep his brain active. I pushed for harder curriculum, but had to settle for extra work due to testing requirements. Many afternoons when Aidan's friends were out playing, he was sitting inside still doing homework. He never complained about the additional harder work, but gave me heck about the easy stuff. He loves to be challenged. David and I had to stop ourselves from expecting perfection and embrace the fact that he is only seven. What I hope he left first grade with, is not all things perfect, but the love of learning that he has always had. Boredom can be a very defeating monster, but with the help of his teacher, I hope we kept it at bay.

This summer will be about rejuvenating. I pledged myself to my kids and making them happy. No schedules. We are traveling a lot, Aidan is going away to camp, and we're having visitors too, but in between, we're going to be lazy!! I've got to get that sparkle back in Aidan's eye before school starts again. August will be here before we know it.

Happy Summer everyone!! IT BEGINS NOW... if you live in Auburn, AL that is.

You are My Sunshine

2009-05-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

Every Wednesday morning since August of 2008, Camryn and I have been working our way toward last night, her very first recital.

I say "Camryn and I", because it was a "mommy and me" class, meaning that I was also in the recital along with the other Moms. We were more like animal trainers on stage, just prompting and poking to get the little two year girls going in the right direction. I have no idea how cute they were. It was over in flash. Every minute spent preparing, was worth sharing this experience with my daughter and she loved every minute of it. In reality, it was worth it to see her in her costume feeling like a real ballerina, literally walking on her toes from the minute she put it on . The performance was just icing on the cake.

Backstage , waiting for their turn in the spotlight.

My first "bun", a requirement for all ballet students.

Lining up to head to the stage.

The anticipation is too much.

Waiting for their curtain call, all pressure off.

Bonding with her dance buddies.

Cracking herself up!

Making silly faces.

Making Libby's face silly.

Getting flowers from Aidan.

Aidan was so proud of her!

Or maybe he just wanted some attention.

She couldn't wait to see her Daddy after the show. And yes she waved from the stage!!

Do I look tired?? My eyes were so bloodshot from the backstage hairspray, that the "red eye" fix on the computer turned them blue. That's what happens when you're in a room with forty girls under the age of six. I think I better get used to this. I danced until I was fourteen. Thanks Mom! Now I know what you went through and I know how much you loved it.

Life is Beautiful

2009-05-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

Dancin' her toes off!

Our little fairy princess.... It's hard to believe she'll be three next week.

Today she was my sunshine!

Our Amazing Grace

2009-05-04T15:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes people come into your life unexpectedly, stay a short while, and live in your heart forever. That is our Grace (and her equally amazing Fiancee Ethan). We met Grace and Ethan last year at the beach and they've been a part of our family ever since...mostly babysitting, but also as friends. We were also lucky to have Grace as an intern in Aidan's classroom the last few months.

This week we're saying good-bye. Grace is graduating from Auburn this weekend, Ethan will follow shortly, and at the New year they will be married and make their home in Memphis.

I know how much Grace loves my kids, but I don't know if she knows how much we love her. Some people are born with the ability to change the world, one small step at a time. Grace has done that for us.
She has been our peace of mind when we needed to be away from the kids. I trust her and love her like family and will miss her everyday ( and every night we want to go out and need a babysitter).

I can't wait to see the great gifts life brings their way. So long friends. Your Auburn family already misses you!!

Grace, Camryn, and I

Grace's First Class (They loved her)

Acting the way they want to. We needed some comic relief.

Beautiful Grace with the kids saying good- bye.

Life's a Beach

2009-04-30T13:49:00.001-07:00

One week ago today, fair warning went out to teachers, doctors, neighbors and relatives. The Mommies were heading out of town for a much needed break. Dad's were fending for themselves and we Mommies only had ourselves to worry about. We all did a great job, had a terrific time, and loved life a little more when we came back to reality. All the girls at one of many good meals, although any meal uninterrupted, is a good one for me.

Shannon, Rachel, and I shaking a leg on the beach. We had been there for twelve hours at this point!!

Carrie, Jeanie, and Tamara sharing one of a thousand laughs shared that weekend.

Me, doing what I love to do best at the beach, having an ice cold beverage with my toes in the sand.

Rachel and I getting our sun on, and on, and on.....

Tracey and Carrie kicking back.

Thanks to everyone who had a part in this trip. It was perfect, rejuvenating, and tons of fun.

My stomach still hurts from laughing so hard. To my friends whose bathing suit shots I've posted, I think you all look terrific and I hope you're happy with my pics.

There's a Wocket in my Pocket

2009-04-30T13:40:00.001-07:00

I'm not going to say much , other than, Camryn loves pockets. Her leotard doesn't have a pocket. She found some pocket worthy treasure (muddy rocks). She improvised. Sometimes you just have to laugh .... and grab your camera!

Easter Aftermath

2009-04-14T11:38:00.000-07:00

Thirty-seven jellybeans, hundreds of rainbow colored foil scraps, a handful of half eaten candy bars, and green plastic grass stuck on my feet later, I think I've taken the upper hand on Easter.

Last year I wrote a letter to the Easter Bunny asking him not to bring all those little cheap toys next year, and thank-you, he listened. One big toy each kid has been begging for. He didn't get the memo about the candy though. Don't get me wrong, my kids love candy and I have no problem with them eating it. The problem is, I love candy too. I never buy it for myself, but for some crazy reason that Easter Bunny brings all my favorites. Thanks Easter Bunny.

All in all, it was a beautiful day. My kids have grown so much since last year. I couldn't get them to care about coloring eggs last year and this year, they fought over who got the last one in the dye. Camryn looked for her own basket this year and Aidan seemed to tower over all the little egg gatherers at the egg hunt. He's almost as tall as the Easter Bunny.

As we were getting ready for bed Sunday night, Aidan wanted to know what the next Holiday was. Something to look forward. For some reason, Memorial Day didn't thrill him. I know my vacuum is happy, although there's something to be said about smelling cotton candy every time you turn it on.

Letting Go

2009-04-14T09:41:00.000-07:00

Two years ago today, I woke up in a surgery center in Indianapolis without my thyroid. It was filled with cancer that had been growing slowly "for years". Cancer had a lot of time to get used to living with me, but I barely had time to digest the word before I knew I had it.

Camryn was seven months old, when a routine sore throat resulted in weeks of tests and the eventual diagnosis on my fortieth birthday. I was one of those cases that went against the odds. Thyroid disorders run in my family. It was very unlikely anything but benign growth, easily controlled with medication. I had never felt worse in my life. Always tired, moody, dry skin, brittle hair, bloated, always thirsty, achy joints, sore muscles. Looking back, I can't believe I was able to get out of bed in the morning, let alone care for an infant that had been conceived while I had cancer. I just pushed through every day thinking it was all post par tum symptoms and it would get better.

The first week I was given the synthetic hormone to replace what my thyroid wasn't doing, I felt like a new person. I didn't know I had cancer yet, but I did realize just how exhausted I had been. The pounds (about 8) fell off in days. It was all water that my body had retained due to the wrong message from the thyroid. Goodbye to what I thought were those last "baby pounds". Suddenly all those moisturizing creams were actually working. My parched skin started to look healthy. My body stopped hurting. I was happier, better prepared to face my fate, when it was delivered a month later.

Yes, I did get the news on my fortieth birthday. The Dr. didn't really know me. He had just been assigned my case to regulate my Thyroid, not thinking he would be passing me off to a cancer team within the month. Unfortunately, he was given the task of breaking the bad news to David and I.

The last two years have been a whirl wind of Dr.s, hospitals, treatments and tests. What was started in Indiana, continued here in Alabama. I have had an appointment pending for two years. I've been waiting for some test, a scan, my next radioactive treatment since January of 2007.

Today, April 14, 2009, I am cancer free, but I will always be a cancer patient. I don't have an appointment scheduled for follow-up, but I need to call and make one. I ran out of the EAMC Cancer Center last month without stopping at the appointments desk. I just wanted a brief reprieve, nothing looming in the future. I've decided to officially let go of my cancer, let go of thinking it will come back.

Good-bye damaged me. I'm fixed and fixed up.

I have never been stronger, never happier, never more sure of my faith than I am today. This journey has taught me a lesson in God. I was never scared. I wasn't sad. I never saw my kids without a Mother. I found an incredible opportunity to see life in a way most people only imagine. It truly is a gift from God. Cancer planted my feet firmly on the ground and lifted my faith to the heavens. I had a peace and calm I couldn't explain. My life is divine.

This is why...when I sing, I do it at the top of my lungs, when I run it's full speed ahead, and when I jump, it's to the sky.

It's because...I can.

Sweet Zane

2009-04-08T14:58:00.001-07:00

After my previous post, I realized I had forgotten to include this picture of my nephew, which led me to remember a conversation we had while my family was visiting.

Zane is the middle child in my sister's family. Then I realized he's also the middle Grand child.
Basically, Zane just hangs in the middle a lot. He's so sweet, mellow, and content.

I think he deserved his own spotlight, since he's often standing in the wings, watching the show.

I also wanted to highlight the only brunette my sister or I managed to have.

Playing squirt gun tag.

Quietly playing airplanes.

The only one smart enough to call it a night.

Happy Chaos

2009-04-08T14:08:00.000-07:00

Three kids in a car for four days- crazy!
Ten people under one small roof for six days-chaotic!
Great times with our family-priceless.

I'm sure my sister and her husband thought many times "What are we thinking?" when they made the decision to drive from Michigan to spend their Spring Break with us. I hope they thought it was worth it. It helped to have my Mom come along, for all our sakes. Grandma was kept busy having all her Grand kids in one place.

One thing was clear, the bonds of family withstand distance and time, and grow stronger with every memory made, as well as shared.

Thank you for blessing us with your visit, your laughter, and your love. We can't wait to do it again this summer!

"What I Did on My Spring Break"

2009-03-23T14:59:00.000-07:00

Forget what I did on Spring Break. Poor David worked and then worked some more.

But Saint Patrick's Day still had to be celebrated,Spring Break still went on.

So we drank our green beer and ate our corned beef with the sound of his typing and griping in the back ground.

Aidan and Camryn had a few friends over for lunch .

I caught a few rays here and there.

We traveled to Atlanta on Friday and watched the Detroit Red Wings beat the Thrashers.

We relaxed at the Omni.

Spent some time in Centennial Park.

Cooled off in the fountain.

I enjoyed my kids, my Husband and getting out of Auburn for a bit.

I even managed to sneak in a little sewing. A few other highlights....my camera broke, Aidan got a new bike and had to learn to reride it, we got our yard work done, David golfed, and we were all sad to see it end.

I really missed Aidan and David when they left this morning. This will be a tough week catching up on all the stuff I didn't do on my Spring Break, like housework, grocery shopping, answering email, eating healthy. I'm officially going through withdrawal from consuming too much junk, drinking more than usual, and having my two favorite boys around. Summer can't come too soon!

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2009-03-17T10:00:00.001-07:00

My Kind of Paradise

2009-03-05T14:07:00.001-08:00

An ice cold beer, fresh chips and salsa, a gorgeous beach, and plastic chairs. That's my idea of "perfect". Sometimes you see a picture and not only do you want to be there, you feel like you belong there. I love this place and where these pictures take me in my mind. I can almost feel the breeze. So for those of you stuck home for Spring Break this year, like me, grab a cold one, plop down in your lawn chair, close your eyes and dream.

Thanks to my friends for reminding me, that sometimes, it's the less glamorous things in life that make it grand!!

Snow Birds!!!

2009-03-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

We have surely lost our wings since we've flown south! When we heard snow was coming, we were afraid to hope it would happen. When we woke to snow falling, we were all excited. When we tried to find appropriate clothes, we realized the kids had outgrown almost everything. When we finally made it outside, we froze our tails off!! There's a frenzy to take it all in before Thursday. Forecast- 72 degrees and sunny! Thank goodness for hand-me-downs and our little snow bunny.

Let it snow!

She's not cold (yet).

Snow Buddies.

Frosty , alive and well in Alabama!

Camryn's first encounter with a real live Snowman.

Our house, pretty as a postcard.

Enjoying the morning coffee, neighbors, and a winter wonderland
I thought I'd never see in these parts. Thank you Mother Nature!

Sweet ending....chocolate, hot chocolate!

Beach, Battles, and Beads

2009-02-26T11:29:00.001-08:00

If you seek adventure...sometimes you find everything you're looking for. That's just what we did last weekend. I stepped out of my comfort zone and booked a trip to an unknown location, stayed in unfamiliar lodgings and had NO plan.

My dad came to visit and we went traveled further South to visit his brother who camps(yes camps) in Golf Shores for the winter. I fretted the whole drive about booking a stay at a place no one had heard of (it was a great deal). We drove away from civilization out onto Fort Morgan Peninsula and arrived at paradise. We explored Fort Morgan, visited with my Uncle Pat, relaxed, swam with the kids, took a car ferry to Dauphin Island, drove on to Mobile (which was in full blown Mardi Gras mode), and finally toured Battleship Park, before heading home to Auburn. It was a great trip that I didn't plan. I just let things happen when they happened. It was totally out character for me and we all loved it! Here's just a few of the pics....

The amazing USS Alabama's gun turret.

Aidan standing in the ship's main kitchen.

Taking the Jeep on it's first boat ride across Mobile Bay.

David and the kids on the ferry.

Grandpa and gang.

My Dad and his Brother in the "camper".

Notice the sign.

Aidan read the sign to Camryn.

The view from our condo at the Beach Club.

Fort Morgan.

This picture was taken in the pitch black tunnels of Fort Morgan.

Grandpa teaching Aidan at Fort Morgan.

Just a swingin' at the condo.

P.S. If anyone would like to tell me the trick to getting these pictures in the right order, I'd love to know. Sorry they're so mixed up!

Two Things...

2009-02-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged again. There was a reason I didn't like this game as a kid, too much pressure in who to tag next. So if you're reading this, consider yourself tagged. Post it on your blog or Facebook. This one is a no brainer, not too deep. Have fun!

Two States I'd like to visit-
1. Hawaii
2. New Mexico

Two names I go by-
1. Miss Kim (only my Husband)
2. Momma

Two things I'm wearing right now-
1. running shorts
2. sports socks

Two things (material) I want-
1. farm table for my kitchen
2. fence

Two people who will complete this-
1. Linzi
2. Jennifer

Two things I did last night-
1. went to dinner with the girlfriends
2. watched the thunder storm roll in

Two things I ate yesterday
1. bowl of Cheerios
2. Greek salad with grilled shrimp

Two people I spoke to last-
1. my Dad
2. Camryn

Two things I'm doing tomorrow
1. going on a vacation to Mobile/Gulf Shores
2. going to the Mardi Gras parade in Fairhope, AL

Two favorite beverages
1. water
2. beer

Daddy's Little Valentine

2009-02-16T13:57:00.000-08:00

....and I wouldn't want it any other way!

25 Random Things I Love About My Husband

2009-02-14T05:00:00.000-08:00

David and Kimberly

1996

1. He has always put me first.

2. He lets me figure things out on my own.

3. He is the pancake maker. I hold my breath and hope the kids want pancakes for breakfast, knowing David will be the one cooking that morning.

4. His Grandma is one of his favorite people. He talks to her often, thinks she's very wise, and worries about her.

5. He enjoys a hard days work. One of our favorite things to do is tackle a heavy duty project together and share a beer after.

6. He loves my cooking, but is OK with a bologna sandwich if that's all we have.

7. He chose the right career and likes to go to work, no matter how hard times are.

8. He notices when I spend a long day cleaning and comments on how nice the house looks.

9. He always thinks I look better than I think I look.

10. He makes the coffee in the morning and has a cup waiting for me as I stumble out of bed.

11. He cleans the toilets in our house and they are almost always clean. I just need to ask. He even does a deep cleaning where he removes the seats and soaks them in bleach.

12. He loves music and has exposed me to artists I never would have known otherwise.

13. He has good friends from all walks of life.

14. He is self made. He worked hard, from the bottom, up to a very successful career.

15. He loves my family like his own.

16. He has a sweet tooth and buys the treats in our house. I know if I send him to the store with a list, he'll add ice cream to it.

17. He has the most incredible blue eyes. They're almost unreal. I love that Camryn got them.

18. He knows when to make the kids a priority and takes them to do something special, just the three of them.

19. He sees the good in people easily. It takes a lot for him to go to the "dark" side.

20. He has NEVER criticized me in any way.

21. He is not stubborn.

22. He has stopped to help a stranger on many occasions. He's always aware of his fellow citizens and willing to lend a hand.

23. He tries to attend every school function he can. Sometimes he's the only Dad.

24. We would be just fine at Waffle House for Valentine's Day. There's no one else I'd rather be with, no matter where we are.

25. He gave me the greatest love, our kids. I'm so glad they're half him.

Sleeping , Standing, Up!

2009-02-13T06:41:00.000-08:00

After putting in a late night at the office, David came home to a quiet house with all his family soundly sleeping. One just wasn't in bed. She had been in bed, but had decided to come downstairs at some point.

She was probably looking for Daddy, decided to wait it out in the chair, but fell back to sleep before she made it.

You can't tell, but her feet are dangling a few inches from the floor. The girl just doesn't sleep well anymore. She makes her way out of bed almost every night and boy is she sneaky!

Thanks to David, we finally caught her on film. I'm usually half asleep, trying to figure out where she went. Do they make sleep aides for children (other than Benadryl!)? We could really use some.

These crazy kids are makin' me crazy!

2009-02-09T14:23:00.000-08:00

Man this has been a long couple of weeks. David has been working long hours at the office, spending long hours building some shelves in our living room, and playing hard on the golf course every chance he gets. Last night, I finally reached my breaking point over really nothing at all. I turned off the stove mid cooking, grabbed the car keys, and left. I went nowhere. Well I actually went in a circle. Halfway around the loop, I thought to myself "What am I thinking? What's going to happen to the dinner? Is anyone going to eat dinner? Oh no, it's a school night. I probably should have had my break down on a Friday." Well too late now, I'm 20 minutes from home so I might as well enjoy the rest of the drive. I cranked up the music, cruised along and decompressed. There wasn't any one thing that had happened. I was just tired of being "on". I needed to shut down. You can't do that in my house. They always find me. Or I can hear them searching.

Close to home, I felt better, more composed, and hungry. Aidan ran out to meet me in the driveway, scared I wasn't coming back. David was fixing the tacos, 6o minutes was on TV , Camryn was already sleeping. I'd only been gone 40 minutes, but it felt like a day. The walls had stopped closing in on me. It was great to be home . And like all great things, it had to end. Aidan decided to sing the catchy commercial "Viva Viagra" for the rest of the night. How do you explain why you shouldn't sing that song? You tell him about the real version with the original words. "Oh, they're using that song to sell medicine for erectile dysfunction?" "Yes Aidan" .... and please don't ask what erectile dysfunction is. He didn't (this time). Now do you see why I go little crazy? And then there's the nice Mom who lets her kids lick the brownie batter from the bowl and her son wants to know if there's raw egg in it. He could get Salmonella... Or the girl who can't wait for Mom to cut the watermelon so she digs into a whole quarter as big as her head. Yes, most days I feel on the verge of going nuts, but I usually just crack up. At least I can drive my therapy loop. It's a little hard to get lost when you're going in a circle. You always end up back where you started.

Back to the Future

2009-01-31T17:57:00.002-08:00

There are times we all see pictures of our children as babies and we're immediately transported back to those sweet days of cuddling, nurturing, wishing for all the good things in life for them.
There are days we want to freeze frame and stop them from growing up at all. And then there are days when you catch a glimpse from the corner of your eye and you don't even recognize the little person they've become. We're so anxious for our kids to start walking, and before we know it, they're standing on their own two feet and walking away from us.
Instead of longing to pull Aidan and Camryn back to me,
I've decided to look forward to what my greatest gifts are going to become. These pictures are those that transport me forward.
Every time I see them, I see a spirit captured, a timeless soul, on the verge of great things.

Aidan is a thinker. His intelligence is only tempered by his time on this earth. Someday he will be instrumental in big change, for he always finds a different means to the end. He's not defiant, but never thinks there's only one right answer.
I'm sure he'll be on the Debate Team. His quest for knowledge is insatiable. I'm hoping to teach him the value of love, trust, and honesty, and other things you can't Google. I know he'll find a new way, a better way, or maybe a cure that will change the world. He does this for me... From him, everyday, I learn.

Camryn is an artist. Not a day goes by that she doesn't beg to paint. She is constantly creating ... with food, cosmetics, dirt, clothes.

Nothing remains as it should be. Camryn has to make it her way. She'll be the child who cuts four inches off her skirt at the bus stop.

She gets dressed in the morning and reinvents herself before we can get out the door. She is so confident and proud of herself. She'll probably travel the world, live from her back pack, and be discovered as a super model, when she would rather be the photographer.

She's a wild Irish rose with a true gypsy soul. I have to teach her about boundaries,

rules, and being beautiful on the inside too. Everyday she reminds me to appreciate life's miracles and to take time to smell the flowers.

It's so exciting to think of all the experiences they have in front of them, all the things they can become. Everyday is taking them in that direction. They're growing up before our eyes and all we can do is tell them we love them, hug them tight, and let them go into the future. Hopefully they'll turn back and wave.

Remember Punky Brewster?

2009-01-27T15:38:00.000-08:00

Remember Punky Brewster? That funny little girl that had a flair for fashion? Well her two year old counterpart lives at our house. I just never know what that child is going to put on next. Yes, she does get dressed in "normal " clothes every morning, although I'm not sure David believes me, but she is never fully clothed for long. For the most part, I let her wear what she wants, but this outfit never left the house.

Things to Make You Smile

2009-01-21T08:43:00.000-08:00

Yikes!

Have you ever been taken aback by a sight in your own house? This just made me laugh out loud. I was letting dough for pizza rise and boy did it ever. There is a dish under there somewhere!

RANDOM ACT OF KINDNESS

(The names in this post have been omitted. They're not important to those of you who aren't neighbors, and the rest will know who I'm talking about.) This morning. I sent Aidan off to the bus all bundled up for the 20 degree temp. I watched him lallygag down the sidewalk, but he looked cold. Our little neighbor girl came out to make her own way to the bus. This girl is older, wiser, and hurrying to get to school.

As she approached Aidan, they had a little conversation and then she stopped, turned toward Aidan and zipped his jacket up the rest of the way, the way a loving parent would do, not a ten year old girl. I was so moved, my heart was warmed. It was such a small gesture, but in my eyes, a huge show of caring. I only hope my kids treat their peers in the same way, when they don't think anyone is watching. This girl's parents should be proud. She's growing into a fine young lady and I was lucky enough to see it this morning. Please pass it on in your own actions.

Powder Puff

2009-01-20T11:41:00.001-08:00

Is this the face of someone who looks guilty? Well she is... and I have the incriminating footprints (and handprints) to prove it. That's what you get for leaving powder within the reach of a two year old, so I guess I'm the one who is

really guilty. I guess I'll never learn.

Oh, and because I couldn't let this day go by without trying to teach Aidan something about the historical significance of Barrack Obama taking the oath today, we had a little dinner conversation last night. It went something like this.

Mom: Tomorrow's an impotant day in American history, do you know why?

Aidan: Barrack Obama is going to President starting tomorrow.

Mom: That's right, but do you why that's important?

Aidan: Because he got the most votes.

Mom: Right, but he's also the first African American President.

End of conversation until I'm doing dishes and Aidan and Camryn are coloring. I try to pick up

where we left off. Maybe I can put it in simpler terms.

Mom: Aidan, did you know that 60 years ago, your friend Victor wouldn't be allowed to go to

the same school as you?

Aidan: Mom, I've known that since I was three! Mom look, Camryn colored an African

American Mickey Mouse. His face is brown.

He was right. I taught him about Civil Rights his first year of pre-school when he wanted to know why he couldn't go to school on MLK JR. Day. I used segregation to try to explain civil rights. And yes, Camryn had colored Mickey in her coloring book brown. To Aidan it was as simple as that. It was then I looked at David and just gave up. He either really gets it or doesn't get it at all, but I just didn't have the words to teach him. I'm going to leave it to the professionals and history.

I Have a Dream....

2009-01-19T09:45:00.000-08:00

On this day, Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the day before the United States of America inaugurates it's first Black President, I have a dream. I dream there will come a day when all people remain as color blind as the day they were born. That all human beings have the same value, no matter the color of their skin, their religion, or their socio-economic background. That describing someone as black, would be as crazy as calling someone purple, or green, or polka dot. It won't happen in our lifetime.

As much as I've tried to insulate my children from prejudice, it's just seeped in through the cracks. I overheard someone who is refusing to watch any of the inauguration coverage, thinks they'll throw up if they see even a moment. I can't imagine hating something so strongly, hating the future before it happens. I wanted to know what was so repulsive, the person or the political party. I didn't trust myself to keep quiet, no matter the answer.

Tomorrow will be a day of celebration for many, a day of mourning for many more. For me, I've always thrived on change. I get bored without it. I'm looking forward to a changing future for our country and our children. I dream of a day when Martin Luther King Jr. was not a black man, but a man, who saw a future without boundaries, without sides, without a ceiling.

You're home today, with your family, because a man had a dream for his own. This day is in his honor. Tomorrow another man will realize a dream and I can't wait to watch every minute of it. The gravity of it is yet to sink in, but maybe 100 years from now, Barrack Obama's Birthday will be a National Holiday. People will spend it at home with their families, and they'll remember when "Black" was the measure of a man and not just a color in the crayon box.

No matter your views... times are changing. You can either close your eyes, hold your breath and try not to throw up. Or you can appreciate the history being made tomorrow and teach a lesson to your children. Tell them not to be afraid to wish for big things, to imagine the unimaginable, because sometimes your wildest dreams really do come true.

Ten Honest Things about Myself

2009-01-18T14:41:00.000-08:00

I've been tagged to tell 10 honest things about myself, so here goes.

1. I had no idea how to get this image from my email to my blog. Thanks Amanda for the first step. In conclusion, I've very computer illiterate.

2. I could easily live without a cell phone. If it wasn't for my husband nagging me to have it with me, I'd always leave home without it.

3. I want my kids to fit this "perfect kid" picture in my head. Star soccer player, always polite, smiling with no cavities, clean faces, always happy. I fight everyday to know that it's OK to let them be who they are.

4. I can not start my day without coffee. I don't think I can form a thought without my first cup of coffee. I made my own pot of coffee at 2am, in the hospital after Camryn was born, because I couldn't wait 'till morning.

5. I like having breasts that fit into a training bra. I save a lot of money on sports bras.

6. I'm a cancer survivor.

7. My husband is my moral compass. If I question my own thoughts or actions, I always think "What would David do?" He's saved me from some big mistakes.

8. For the first time in my adult life, I'm nervous about the future. So many things seem out of our hands. It's forced me to look for the real value in my life.

9. I miss Michigan winters.

10. I love Facebook. It's made my world so much bigger. I don't go a day without hearing from a friend, seeing a relative, or just getting an unexpected laugh.

Thanks for tagging me. A little honesty never hurt anyone.

Perfect Street, U.S.A.

2009-01-15T13:48:00.000-08:00

This is where we live. It's why we wanted to live here. The beautiful houses, the happy families, the manicured lawns, the cute kids, the sidewalks with people walking their dogs, and the matching mailboxes , all lined up in a row.

Today, I was sitting at my kitchen table looking down the street at those mailboxes. Some have patriotic bows, some have silver crosses on the side, some are just plain old black mailboxes. All belong to our neighbors on Perfect Street.

Life just isn't perfect here. The patriotic bows are for a "Mom" called to duty in Iraq. The silver crosses are for a "Dad" diagnosed with inoperable brain cancer. Another mailbox belongs to a family caring for a daughter with cancer. Another mailbox will be filled with sympathy cards for a loved one lost over the weekend. Many mailboxes will soon receive mail for new families, as neighbors move away.

No matter the mailbox, one thing is the same. Every mailbox belongs to a family, with a story and a life.... probably not so perfect.

There probably is a Perfect Street somewhere. Maybe on your way to Easy Street. I know I'll never live on either one. My life isn't perfect or easy, and those bows and crosses are reminders that no one's life is. They are also reminders that life can change in a day, a moment, an instant. Live each one to it's fullest, hug your kids, and wave to your neighbors. If anyone does happen to move to Perfect Street in their lifetime, I'll send you a Christmas card from the Real World. Until then, I'll see you in the neighborhood!

The Mom, the Witch, and the Big Girl Bed

2009-01-14T09:03:00.000-08:00

Yes, these are drawings on my kitchen wall. (Linzi, make a note to secure all writing utensils out of reach), but this story is NOT about toddler creativity with markers, nail polish, yogurt, toothpaste..... This is about Camryn and her Witch. I'm capitalizing Witch, because Witch is now part of our family. Camryn had been talking about the witch in her room for quite some time, Saturday after Thanksgiving to be exact. Black Friday was my last night of uninterrupted sleep in my own bed. Every night since, I have been either woken by Camryn calling to me or just slept in her bed with her. I know many of you are thinking that she is using the witch to sleep with Mom and Dad, but I'm not sure that's the case. The first time the witch showed up, it was in the afternoon. Camryn was "scared" of the witch in her room. I told her witches weren't real, they were just cartoons. Every time after, she would tell me she wasn't scared of the witch in her room, it was just a cartoon, and then wake in the night crying about the witch. When I told her she couldn't leave her Big Girl bed and come in Mommy and Daddy's room to sleep, we found her sleeping on the Hardwood floor outside our room. It broke my heart, so I decided that making her feel safe was more important than the stigma of a child that won't sleep alone. Over the last couple of months, Witch has shown up in the kitchen mid-day, in the corner of her room, on the ceiling in the hall, but always out of the blue. We've swept Witch out the back door, vacuumed Witch up, scolded Witch away, but Witch has become a permanent resident.

The great thing about Witch is that "she" is not scary or mean. She's purple, with long hair, and a girl. After being asked so many times about Witch, Camryn finally decided to draw her (maybe life-size) on the kitchen wall. I'm sure she'll eventually go away, but until then, every day, as darkness falls, pajamas are put on , Camryn asks me "you sleep in my Big Girl bed?". And I do... hoping that night will be my last. So if anyone would like to adopt a nice, female, purple witch with long hair you can inquire under Camryn's bed. She's free to a good home!

Welcome Baby!

2009-01-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

Big Sister Abbe Sito ( pictured with my babes) welcomed her baby brother to the world this week ! I've been a little delayed posting because I'm embarrassed to say I've forgotten the exact stats, even the exact date. I think it was Wednesday the 7th, around 8:30 pm, 7 something pounds, 19 inches-ish. It seems like a bad thing... I forgot the details, but really it's because I love my friend so much, I was listening to her voice, the pure joy when she spoke, the baby sounds in the background, the electric excitement over the phone line. She sounded great and so happy. I knew we'd go over the details again later, but for the moment, it was heart to heart, woman to woman, mom to mom.

So here he is Oliver Edmond Sito, lucky son of Anne and Jarrod, baby brother to Abbe. I can't wait to hold you, smell you (wish you could bottle that), and count your little fingers and toes. Oh yeah- Did I mention have a beer with your Mom? You see, I flew all the way to Florida to lay on the beach with my friend Anne, who lives in Cleveland, and lo and behold, she was finally pregnant, the best news ever, but so much for the beers on the beach. I'm still waiting to cash in my "rain check".

When the Cat's Away...

2009-01-09T10:49:00.000-08:00

My little mice played. When I was so wrapped up in Facebook the other night, Aidan and Camryn decided to take a trip to the beach. They got dressed, packed their bags, and travelled around the house. These pictures were taken at 8:59pm. Yes, I forgot to put the kids to bed that night too! I found them "pretend sleeping" on the couch, dressed like hobos, with dress up clothes from one end of the house to the other. Am I the worst Mother ever? Oh well, at least I've stuck to my resolution about letting my kids "just be".

Cotton Shortage

2009-01-08T13:35:00.000-08:00

I really don't intend to use this blog to endorse or critique any area businesses, therefore I won't use names for the following story. I'm just so disturbed by it on so many levels and it's really no big deal. This is why it bothers me. It was a random act of unkindness, it was directed at me (but it would have made me mad no matter who was involved), it scares me to think that things have gotten to this point in both the quality of work environments and resources available, this is a place I go to everyday. The GYM. This is what happened.

For those of you who don't know the GYM, it is a GYM belonging to a private golf club which we pay to belong to. This isn't the YMCA. I went to the GYM to a sculpting class today and left my exercise mat home. Instead of laying on the germy mats that are there for use, I stopped in the locker room and grabbed a shower towel. For those of you who do not go to this GYM, let me reassure you, the shower towel is only different from the other towels in size. It is not luxurious thick cotton, it's just bigger. While setting up for class, I opened the towel to lay it on the mat and was interrupted by the "male attendant" coming into the studio . "Do you really need to be using a large towel?" I immediately explained the reason and then stood there in shock.
This bothered me for these reasons. We pay a lot of money to belong to this club. This attendant called me out in front of a lot of people. Quite frankly, it was embarrassing for us all. Did he think I would fold it and put it back? My workout was ruined. My mind was wandering. What circumstances led to his need to stop me from using a large towel? Do they frequently run out of large towels? Has he been asked to keep the loads of laundry to a certain number? Is the water bill too high? Does he hate folding large towels? Or is he just mean and lazy? I'm not going to publish what I feel the reason is , but I will tell you this , I laid on that white towel (which felt more like a white elephant) and tried to figure this all out. Like I said, it really is no big deal that I've been trying to deal with all day.
So tomorrow when I go to the GYM, I'm going to be very mature and not use a large white towel.... I'll use six small ones instead.

Avalanche!

2009-01-07T17:32:00.000-08:00

If you're wondering why my posts will fewer and farther between,it's because I've gotten caught up in this crazy snowball called FaceBook. My girlfriends kept pestering me to get on board and I finally took the time to setup a pic and profile. Before I was even done, I had seven "friends" to confirm and comments on my "wall" to read. I got through all that, added friends, made a few repy comments, went to shut down and had more email confirmations pop up. Two hours later, after confirming , commenting, talking "wall to wall" ( and trying to find a better picture of myself because everyone and their brother checks you out on this thing) I finally just signed off with unfinished business. You know the old saying "and they'll tell two friends, and they'll tell two friends"? They need to post a warning that Facebook is addictive and you may neglect your family, friends, housework, pets, and your blog if you sign up. I'm sure the frenzy will die down eventually, but in the meantime, Aidan is going have to limit my computertime. Afterall, how many different things can a seven year old make his two year sister for dinner?

Bonus Day

2009-01-05T11:50:00.000-08:00

It's here. That last day before the kids go back to school, my last day with Aidan home, my first day with David back to work (since 12/17), my last day working overtime. With two extra bodies, I mean "dear loved ones", in the house, everything is more work. Four opinions for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Making sure four people eat breakfast lunch and dinner, or at least two of the three. Days with hours of opportunity to change clothes, make messes, make plans, make fun, make LOVE, (forget that) too much war over everything else. Plus there's golf to be played. I'll breathe a sigh of relief tomorrow when Aidan gets off to school and Camryn and I settle into our old ways. But today I want to focus on Aidan. It started out great. Homemade pancakes for breakfast, Aidan dressed appropriately for the weather. You see, Aidan has a habit of wearing a long sleeve sweater when it's 75 (and cloudy) and a T-shirt and shorts when it's 55 (and sunny). What do you want to do on your last day home? Make cookies? Go to the library?

See a movie? Ding-dong, doorbell rings at 8:30am. I haven't seen much of him since. I can't believe he doesn't want to spend his last day with me, then I realize he's as ready for things to be back to normal as I am. He needs a little less attention, a little more room, a little less Mom. So I let him go, just let him be. He'll come home when he gets hungry (although unlikely because a sweet neighbor Mom will feed him). In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my own bonus day. Hope all you Mom's are too! Note: The picture of Aidan is because he thinks there're too many of Camryn. Gotta make things even.

Just Another Ordinary Day

2009-01-03T17:46:00.000-08:00

No, I didn't take up abstract art as one of my New Year's Resolutions. This is a firework seen from our front porch tonight, set off during an impressive thunderstorm. Just when you think things are getting normal, no major events pending in the near future, Mother Nature decides to mix things up a little. We had to abort our grilling because the lightning strikes were frequent and very close. Then if things weren't interesting enough, we heard the boom of fireworks above the thunder. Usually pyrotechnics are cancelled due to inclement weather, but they were beautiful raining down with the rain. Another extraordinary event today - I actually sewed something to completion. As mentioned , one of resolutions was to try to sew some things for Camryn. I went to the store, bought some fabric, a pattern, some "notions" (whatever that means) and got right to it . After following the directions meticulously for a couple of steps, I started to modify, add to, take away, and eventually realized this sewing was actually fun and relaxing. I put in about 5 hours from start to finish. I couldn't wait for Camryn to wake up so she could try it on. It is perfect on her. I've already got my next project designed in my head. I can already tell I won't be much of a pattern follower since on my first ever sewing project , I managed to change the neckline, the sleeve length, sleeve style, and waistline. Watch for Camryn wearing some of my creations in the near future. I might even feel confident enough to spend more than a dollar yard.

I'm glad I didn't make the pants. They look a little big through the rise!

Air...

2008-12-31T11:15:00.000-08:00

That's what we've been doing ..
getting some air, taking a breather, slowing down to smell the coffee.

We went to the Montgomery Zoo and watched the animals, who all had Spring fever (if you know what I mean). I think the kids even got a little sunburn it was so nice out.

We spent a day exploring the Tuskegee National Forest, had a picnic in the woods (which David packed all on his own) and enjoyed the total peace and quiet of a simpler time. As Aidan put it-"getting some nature air in our noses".

It's been a week of reflecting back on what this year has been for us, both good and bad. We've been working on our resolutions, ones that are realistic and unselfish. Aidan will have chores for the first time, Camryn is potty trained, I'm cancer-free, and maybe David will use all his vacation time in 2009. I'm definitely working on that one. If anything 2008 has taught me, it is that time is priceless, you can't get it back once it's spent, so spend it wisely. David, the kids and I will toast in the New Year together and there's no place else I'd rather be. So... cheers to living your best life in 2009. We'll be right behind you!!

Don we now our......

2008-12-26T07:09:00.000-08:00

Gay bowling apparel and hit the local alley for some heated competition. There's nothing like snack bar food, a couple of cold beers and a raucous crowd to make it feel like Christmas!

Look out Fred Flinstone.

Praying to the Bowling Gods.

Camryn took a team effort.

Did I mention that team "KIDS" beat team "PARENTS" in total pins competition? We want a rematch soon! After muscles I didn't know I had stop hurting.

He's Just Seven (teen???)

2008-12-26T06:49:00.000-08:00

WATCH OUT JONAS BROTHERS.

We love Santa!! Why? Because Santa brought Aidan an ELECTRIC guitar.

He must have taken one look at the hair and thought it would be perfect.

Apparently there are lessons in his future...... and a maybe a video!

Sorry this is sideways, but it's really the sound that counts.

All is Calm, All is Bright....

2008-12-25T09:53:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve was a little different this year, but a lot was the same. For the first time in a long time, we had no company. It was just us and a box of gifts from Grandma Janet.

Thanks for shipping them all the way from Michigan!

For the 41st year of my life, the elves left new PJ's on our beds which we had to put on immediately (it was 6:30). It's amazing those elves have never missed a year.

For the first time that I remember, we went out to dinner instead of cooking. We weren't the only ones at Outback!! Aidan wouldn't give me a serious face, so after giving up, his Dad did the same thing to him. At least Camryn and I were camera ready.

After dinner, we drove around to enjoy the lights and the kids complained they were bored (like they do every year). They were both in bed by eight, which is another first. Overall, it was one of the quieter Christmas Eves of our lives, but it gave us a chance to miss our friends and family far away and appreciate "just us" at home for the Holidays.

Aidan is Seven

2008-12-24T09:23:00.000-08:00

We finally pulled it off. Aidan had more than three people (not including restaurant staff), sing Happy Birthday to him on his actual Birthday. From his reaction, I think he was overwhelmed with emotion at the enormity of it. We've always worked hard to make his Birthday special, but due the proximity to Christmas, it has never happened on the day of his birth. Thank you to all our friends who took time from your busy schedules to join us in song. We truly enjoyed ourselves!! I was even blessed with one of those priceless moments that remind you why it's all worth it. Aidan came into the kitchen during the final preparations for his party and said (in these exact words) " Mom, thanks for all the work you've done for my party. I know it's been a lot of shopping and cleaning, but I really appreciate it. I know it's going to be great". I'd do all over again for you Aidan. You're the best!!

He got a Lego set and a scooter from us. We hope he doesn't break his leg before Christmas!

Here is the Birthday song with 24 voices strong!!

Oh yeah, the cake was homemade, not as light and fluffy as I hoped, but the kids and I still ate it for breakfast this morning, another tradition in our family. Yes , even cake tastes better the next day!

Thanks a Lot Washington! (as in D.C.)

2008-12-19T09:20:00.000-08:00

It's finally happened. David and I need a Bailout. At Aidan's holiday party yesterday, one of the Mom's asked David if she should submit our family to Toy for Tots (which we contribute to every year I might add.) David was confused of course, until she told him how Aidan answered when she asked what he wanted Santa to bring him. Aidan responded " Well, I 'm really not going to get much this year, because the economy's so bad that even Santa's had to cut back. My Mom and Dad aren't even getting anything." I don't know whether we should laugh or cry. It's all my fault..... but after being handed the eighth Santa list this year, I just had to put a little perspective on the situation, manage his expectations. I guess he got it!! Rest assured, Santa is visiting our house this year. I'm also proud to say that it's much more about the spirit of the season, than the loot for Christmas 2008. We're not really stimulating the economy much, but I feel like one of the richest people on earth. Thanks George W., for helping us get our priorities straight!!

"Grandma Claus" Came to Town

2008-12-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

You better not shout , you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm telling you why.... Grandma Claus is coming to town and she'll spoil your kids no matter how much you protest. Thanks Mom, for all the special things you did with the kids. You always manage to make so many silly memories that we laugh about until your next visit. I'm still smiling every time I open the fridge and see that awful fake snowball. Oh yeah... can't forget the presents. Camryn got another installment for her Dress-up trunk and we all had fun being her models. Aidan got an Erector set that he and David will tackle over the break. Our annual visit with Santa didn't go so smoothly, as Camryn decided hugging Santa was less scary than sitting on his lap. She decided to let Grandma fill-in. We'll try the Santa Picture again next year. Grandma also helped me with lots of projects for Aidan's school, like Birthday cupcakes and a Holiday craft for the kids to make. Everything was more fun and much quicker with Grandma's help. I'm sure she slept better at home without Aidan to snuggle with and Camryn's witch to keep her company. More about that in another blog. Thanks for making the trip Mom. We missed you before your plane even took off and I promise I won't make you work so hard on your next visit.

Aidan's Nutcracker Debut

2008-12-17T08:58:00.000-08:00

After months of rehearsals, several costume fittings, dress rehearsal, technical rehearsal, first run through, and cast pictures,.. Aidan was finally on stage "for real". He (and the rest of the crew) were fantastic. It amazes me how he made it through all the hard work, time away from friends, and all those days surrounded by "girls" and didn't complain once. Oh.. and did I mention the make-up? That poor kid had to wear A LOT of make-up. His performance was perfect, without an ounce of stage fright, not even nervous. I was more worked up about being a backstage Mom.. He reassured me I'd do fine. He's ready for the next production - Snow White , but I need a hiatus. Here's a few pics from rehearsal. The use of recording devices was prohibited during the actual ballet. This ain't no small time production!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

2008-12-08T07:12:00.000-08:00

Well maybe a little like Christmas. It just isn't the same without snow! Well, this is our house in Alabama, with fewer lights than last year, because we vowed not to buy any new decorations this year. Of course, we jinxed our light supply into not lighting up. Oh well, less to take down in January. So from our home to yours, Merry Christmas!!

Dinner with Friends (or idols)

2008-12-07T06:56:00.000-08:00

Friday night, our dear friends had us over for a delicious dinner. As always, the kids had a ball chasing each other around while the adults tried to carry on a full conversation. We finally got them corralled to the counter (popcorn as bait), where Aidan led the gang in Christmas carols. "Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the..... WAIT..... Batman smells, Robin laid an egg.... "Stop, stop. Aidan you know I don't like you singing those songs"... even though Mom knows all the words because I sang all those same songs when I was little...."C and Camryn really look up to you. You need to set an example." Yada, yada, yada. Check out these pictures I unknowingly captured that make my point exactly!!

Auburn Christmas Parade

2008-12-05T13:42:00.000-08:00

Last night Aidan and Camryn ( and myself out of fear of them falling off the float) were thrilled to ride in the Auburn Christmas Parade. Aidan and I both decided we liked being in the parade more than watching. Camryn only cared about the candy canes. Unfortunately, David got held

up at work so my beauty pageant wave went to waste. The kids thought it was the best, so I better start looking for a float to crash for next year. Oh yeah, I know Camryn is sideways, but I couldn't figure out how to turn her. I decided to skip Aidan until I can turn him right side up.

Keeping it Real

2008-12-05T05:23:00.000-08:00

I've always loved this picture, taken on Aidan's first day of school this year, but I hated the fact that Camryn had her pacifier (Abuu). When I decided to start a blog though, I vowed to keep it real and the fact is, Camryn loves that pacifier and has it much of the time. That's who she is. That's why her eyes are happy and we all look happy. Hopefully her little teeth don't stick out from having that thing in her mouth all the time. Regardless, it is what it is. I've created this little monster, so why not show her off. Mainly, my goal is to portray my life as it is, not how I dream it to be. I've often visited other blogs and thought "This isn't the family that I see in real life. They're just posing for the camera (blog)". So if you see a lot of pacifiers, dirty faces, messy hair, and clutter in the back ground, rest assured, what you see is what you get! Oh by the way, you may have noticed the proper cases of my words now. When I tried to read my own posts, I had a hard time, and I knew what I had written. I decided for easier reading, I'd stick to the rule book and practice my two handed typing. It'll probably just shorten my ranting. Stay tuned for my first official post about my kids, which is what this is all about anyway. At least I know how to post one picture at a time.

Goal Accomplished

2008-12-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

can i tell you how long i've been wanting to start a blog? since i discovered that i could share the good, bad, and the ugly about my private life with billions of strangers (and the people that know and love me best). the first thing you may notice, is that i've chosen to use no capitals (because i'm such a slow and awful typist). this just lets me get my thoughts out more quickly and i'm always looking for short cuts. what you can't tell yet , is that i'm computer illiterate, using the trial and error method for anything i do get right. thus the delay in my blog set-up. i was waiting for my completely computer genius husband to do it for me. as of today, i was still waiting. when checking out one of my favorite blogs, i noticed a little"start a blog" icon and thought, "how hard can it be". twenty minutes later, here is my first official post. goal accomplished. now if i can figure out how to add pictures, i'll be all set. time is going by so fast, so i hope to capture some of our best living here. wish me luck or at least don't laugh when i get it wrong.