Sometimes life is just a chain of events that that gets longer and longer until it wraps around your ankles and you end up face first on the ground. Welcome to my excuse.
This is how I found my way back here after all this time.
Thanksgiving is fast approaching and my Dad is coming from Michigan to spend it with us. I need to have my house decorated for the holidays by "Black Friday". Our attic storage is off of the guest room where my Dad will set up shop on Friday, so this weekend I decided to get out the boxes of stuff to deck the halls and get it all out before my Dad comes. How would I get it done otherwise? Last year all things came together nicely. My creative juices were flowing. This year I felt stuck in the mud and overwhelmed by all the garlands, lights and baubles. I decided to use a cheat sheet and look at pictures from last year and just copy, at least for now. That would be easy because surely I showed off my hard work on blog last Christmas. I logged onto my blog, blew away the cobwebs and intended to skip right to December 2008, make some notes, and run downstairs to re-create.
Then the music started. Man, I love my music. I spent as much time searching for songs as I did on my writing. Every song has a meaning , a memory, an effect on me. I was suddenly in no hurry to go anywhere. I started scrolling and instead of scrolling, I stopped.... and read. An hour later (and a few tissues), I realized something.
I had made a conscious decision to stop blogging when I did. It didn't seem like my family in Michigan was really logging on very much, I wasn't so enthused to keep it "real" anymore, and..... it took time.
Yesterday, I knew that every minute I spent was worth it. Reading back through, it was so clear that I wrote every sentence for me .... from my heart. Every quote by Aidan, every silly thing Camryn did, every commentary on current events, brought me right back there. The weeks I didn't blog still were lived, but I can't get them back in the same high definition. I couldn't get logged in quick enough to capture as much of my life as possible.
So maybe I will be the only one who ever bothers to read what I have to say. There might not be so many picture stories either. It was the words that held me, like secret little notes passed between friends.
So that brings me to this. I never found any pictures of my decor from last year, but my search lead me back to my blog ( which will definitely have a post titled "Holiday Decor 2009). Happy reading...to me, from me.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
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